I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
