Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
