The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
