So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
