I faked an abortion last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
