my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize