If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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