I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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