Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
