This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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