No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
