do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
