I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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