It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
