weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Less talking, more tequila
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk is not a location!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
