at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
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