I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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