Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
