Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
