We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
