Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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