We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
