He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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