I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
