Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
