You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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