I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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