When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
