I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
