Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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