dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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