Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
