Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
