More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
