If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do vagina's smell?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
