Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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