so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
