Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
