I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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