I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
