I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
