come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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