can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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