Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
