If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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