i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
