biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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