You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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