Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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