One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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