i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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