i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize