i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
