Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
