Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
