As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
