we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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