At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
