Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize