Her vagina should come with caution tape.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I could fuck to npr.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
