when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
